


Drop A Heart, Break A Name

by iwannafucktheguitarist



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Hufflepuff!Michael, It's Modern-Day Hogwarts, M/M, OT4, Ravenclaw!Calum, Slytherin!Luke, So Many Canon HP Characters omg, So basically, Teddy Lupin is friends with Michael, and so much bands, bc why not, draco malfoy teaches potions, gryffindor!ashton, i'm adding a ton of bandom ppl to this tho, i'm emo trash so ofc this has a lot of my fave bands, it's all my favorite bands and pairings in the hp universe, it's got atl but i'm not sure if it'll have jalex as a pairing tho, more characters will be introduced in future chapters, much band, such magic, the boys charge everybody for wifi, very wizard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-04 13:43:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5336204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwannafucktheguitarist/pseuds/iwannafucktheguitarist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically 5SOS at Hogwarts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from sugar we're goin down by fall out boy. it has nothing to do with the fic, i'm just emo trash.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically a flashback to the years leading up to the fifth year, when this story takes place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everybody! (see what i did there...) anyways, i've started writing a hogwarts au. i'm still working on the malum genderswap, though, just got writer's block, but i swear let's take this mess and make a home will have a new chapter by christmas.
> 
> anyway, the boys' houses in this are just my headcanon for what they'd be. i know a lot of people disagree (seriously, do people really think michael would be a slytherin? smh) but it's my fic so i do what i want. and i wanted hufflepuff mikey. i'm a slytherin myself btw, which is how i know michael is NOT a slytherin. luke, though...he'd be a slytherin.
> 
> my tumblr is [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com).

Michael remembers when he got his Hogwarts letter. He was so excited to go shopping in Diagon Alley for all his school supplies. He owled his best friend Calum to make sure he got his too. They decided to go shopping together a couple weeks before September 1st, when the Hogwarts Express would leave King’s Cross station and take them to the place they’d been hearing about ever since they could remember. He wondered what house he’d be in. Calum’s older sister was in Ravenclaw, and since it usually runs in families, Michael was pretty sure Calum would be a Ravenclaw.

Michael didn’t know one hundred percent for sure what house he’d be in. He’d always thought of himself as more of a Slytherin, but for some reason Calum always seemed uncomfortable whenever he talked about it. Both of his parents had been Slytherins, though. They didn’t approve of his friendship with Calum at first, when they’d met a couple years prior. Calum was a half-blood, and Michael’s parents looked down on people who had Muggle blood.

Michael also had a peculiar talent: he was a Metamorphmagus, able to change his appearance at will. He thought it was pretty cool and liked to use it to play pranks or to make Calum laugh. He also thought that if he ever committed a crime he’d be able to get away with it; he’d just have to change his appearance. Other people kind of thought it was weird or creepy, though, so he tried to just do it around Calum. It took him a while to control it, but by the time he was eleven, he’d got it down.

Anyway, he was so excited when the day finally came and he went to Diagon Alley and bought his robes and cauldron and potions ingredients. He got his wand, and then he got an owl of his very own. He and Calum had ice cream at Florean Fortescue’s, and then they parted ways at the Leaky Cauldron, knowing they’d see each other on the train to Hogwarts.

 

September first came soon enough, and Michael grumbled at having to get out of bed to catch the train, but the tiredness wore off as soon as he found himself looking at the big red steam engine at Platform 9 ¾. He said good-bye to his parents and loaded his things onto the train, and found a compartment with Calum.

Soon a small blonde boy walked into their compartment. “Do you guys mind if I sit here?” he asked. “My name’s Luke. Are you first-years too?”

“Go ahead,” Calum answered. “And yeah, we are. I’m Calum. Michael, introduce yourself.”

“Why? You just did,” Michael had pointed out. He remembers Luke laughing at that.

Soon another boy who looked a bit older than them came into the compartment as well. “Everywhere else is full. Can I sit in here?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Michael said, starting to feel a little nervous with two people he didn’t know well in such close space.

“Thanks. First years?” the boy asked.

“Yeah,” Luke mumbled.

“Cool. I’m Ashton. I’m in second year. I’m in Gryffindor. I remember last year when I got my letter. I was so surprised. My mum’s a Muggle, so I must either be a half-blood or Muggleborn. Never knew my dad.”

Michael couldn’t help but think his parents wouldn’t want him to be around Ashton because of his blood. He pushed that thought aside. “I’m Michael. Both my parents were Slytherin, so I think I’d be a Slytherin,” he said.

Ashton shifted, visibly uncomfortable. Of course. He probably thought Michael was going to call him the M-word or something.

“I don’t care that you’re Muggleborn,” Michael added, and Ashton visibly relaxed.

“I’m Calum,” Calum said. “Both my parents and my older sister were Ravenclaws. So I’m expecting Ravenclaw.”

“Luke,” Luke said. “I’m Muggleborn, the only one with magic in my family. Both my brothers and my parents are Muggles. I’m hoping for Ravenclaw.”

“Maybe we’ll be in the same house,” Calum said.

“So none of you think you’ll be in Gryffindor?” Ashton said. “Well, maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

“I could be,” Luke says. “Like I said, I have no clue. I didn’t even know Hogwarts existed until I got my letter.”

“I was the exact same,” Ashton says.

 

At the sorting Michael remembers being sorted first out of his friends, thanks to his last name starting with a C. He walked up to the stool and put on the hat, sitting there waiting. A voice in his head said _So, hoping for Slytherin, my lad? Well, I’m sorry, boy, but I think Hufflepuff would be a better fit._

Michael remembers his confusion as the hat shouted out “HUFFLEPUFF!” and he walked toward the Hufflepuff table in a daze.

If he was confused, though, Luke was positively baffled when he—a Muggleborn!—was sorted into Slytherin. Since the war, the prejudice against Muggleborns was a lot less common, but as always, the older Pureblood families found it hard to abandon their old way of thinking. And Slytherin had the highest percentage of Purebloods in the school. Michael watched as Luke made his way to the Slytherin table with his shoulders slumped. Luke had really been hoping for Ravenclaw.

Calum was sorted into Ravenclaw. Michael clapped for his friend as he walked over to the next table over and sat down. He looked over at the Gryffindor table and saw Ashton clapping as well.

 

During their first (and second, for Ashton) year, the four boys grew to be inseparable. They had found every passage in the school, with the help of the ghost of Fred Weasley. Fred seemed a bit too eager to help them in their troublemaking, but they weren’t complaining. Fred was the only ghost that was even cordial with Peeves the poltergeist, much less friends. From what Michael had heard, Fred was not much different now than he was in life.

Luke got picked on a bit for being a Muggleborn in Slytherin, but it stopped as soon as the bullies realized that Michael, Calum, and Ashton were always ready to defend their friend. They’d all meet in the Room of Requirement, usually after curfew, and hang out and plot their next adventures.

In their second year, Calum tried out for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and became a chaser. Ashton, now a third-year, was a beater for Gryffindor, and Fred said he was “as good as George and I were”.

In their third year, Ashton’s fourth, Hogsmeade weekends became their best time to spend together. They would go to the Hog’s Head, which had become a lot more respectable since Aberforth had helped Harry Potter defeat Voldemort, to plot their next adventures. Headmistress McGonagall said it was like James Potter’s bunch reincarnated, and they were fine with being known as troublemakers.

They’d stay over at each other’s homes during the summer holidays, and Michael’s parents were surprisingly okay with him staying with Muggles. Luke showed him something called an iPod, which played music, and introduced him to a lot of Muggle bands. Michael’s bunk in Hufflepuff had band posters hanging in it after the summer he spent with Luke.

Their fourth year, Ashton’s fifth, was quite fun because it was a Tri-wizard Tournament year. It wasn’t as eventful as Harry Potter’s, from what they’ve heard (no Dark Lords returned at the finale, so that’s always a plus). Ashton became Quidditch captain for Gryffindor, but it shocked no one that he wasn’t made a prefect. That was also the year Ashton figured out how to get around the anti-technology wards and get Wi-Fi in Gryffindor Tower. He taught the others how to do it, and now all four houses had Wi-Fi. For the Muggleborn students, this was a miracle. They charged a Galleon a month for the Wi-Fi password, and Fred told them he’d never been more proud of anyone. That was also the year when Michael started changing his hair color. All. The. Time. His teachers grew accustomed to him having a different hair color every day.

Michael used his abilities as a Metamorphmagus for their pranks all the time. He especially enjoyed imitating the teachers and taking points away from the other houses. Well, until he got caught imitating McGonagall in his third year, and the resulting year’s worth of detentions kind of curbed that. Teddy Lupin got to Hogwarts in their second year, so Michael was friends with him a bit. Michael was a little shocked that Harry Potter’s godson wanted to be around him, but whatever. He wasn’t complaining. Teddy was shocked the first time he saw Michael talking to Fred, but when he noticed Fred had both ears, he calmed down considerably.

 


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The summer before fifth year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! I'm back with another chapter, this time one with plot. Yay! The boys will be at Hogwarts in the chapter after this.
> 
> As always, my tumblr is [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com).

Michael’s staying at Luke’s this summer, along with Calum and Ashton. Luke and Ashton are having a combined birthday party, and Liz insisted on Michael and Calum helping with the cake. With no magic. Luke’s family are Muggles, and while some Muggle things are cool (the internet and cell phones and holy shit, video games are the best thing ever, in fact Ashton helped him set up Wi-Fi in the Hufflepuff common room; Luke did the same for Slytherin and Calum for Ravenclaw, and Ashton is who figured out how to get around the anti-technology wards in the first place) baking without magic is not cool.

“Goddamn it,” Michael mutters as he tries to figure out how to crack an egg while Jack and Ben (Luke’s older brothers) watch in amusement. “I swear on Merlin’s sweaty ballsack I’ll never come back here if I have to make another fucking cake.”

“Here,” Ashton says as he enters the kitchen, taking in the sight of crushed eggs surrounding a mixing bowl and Michael’s yolk-covered hands and apparently taking pity on him. Ashton taps the egg gently against the rim of the bowl and it splits open perfectly.

“How’d you do that?”

“You tap it on the bowl; you don’t try to break it open with your hands.”

“Well now I feel stupid,” Michael mutters.

“You could have asked Calum; his mum’s a Muggle,” Ashton points out. “She must cook like a Muggle.”

“Fine.”

 

The cake is finished eventually, and it looks stupid, in Michael’s opinion. Why Liz had him and Calum decorate it he has no clue. Like either of them know how to bake. But it looks edible, which is an accomplishment in itself. They all sit down at the table and eat, and the cake turned out surprisingly okay.

“Wow, Michael, you actually made something edible,” Luke says, pretending to be shocked.

“Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean I won’t punch you, Hemmings. And Hufflepuff’s common room is right next to the kitchens. I know a little bit from going in there to get snacks in the middle of the night.”

“I’m still amazed you haven’t got caught for that,” Calum says, shaking his head.

“He’s Michael; he gets away with everything because he’s a fucking Hufflepuff and everyone thinks Hufflepuffs can do no wrong,” Luke says, causing Liz to tweak his ear and admonish him for using that kind of language. “Sorry mum.”

“We should be getting our letters any day now,” Calum says.

“Well, none of us are going to be prefects, that’s for sure,” Michael says.

“Well it’s not like you need it to take points,” Ashton says. “Remember the time you morphed to look like McGonagall and made that second-year cry because you convinced her that wearing shoes in the library was against the rules and took ten points from Gryffindor?”

“Also known as the time I got detention for an entire year from McGonagall. Yeah, how could I forget? It was only an entire year of helping Professor Longbottom re-pot the venomous tentacula and the devil’s snare and every other fucking murderous plant there is. I got bitten by a plant, Ashton!” Michael says.

“Hey, he was friends with Harry Potter back in the day,” Calum says. “Maybe you should have got him talking about that, then you could have stalled.”

“Unfortunately he can talk and work at the same time,” Michael mumbles.

 

They hear a tapping on the window after dinner, and Luke opens it to see an owl holding four envelopes. “Our letters came, guys,” he says, handing them out.

“Holy shit, guys,” Calum says, holding up a badge. “I’m a prefect.”

“Nice. You can abuse your power to get me out of trouble now,” Michael says.

“That’s a bad idea,” Calum says.

“Well then you can sneak me into the really nice bathroom,” Michael suggests.

“That’s an even worse idea,” Calum tells him.

“Dammit Calum, when did you become responsible?”

“About two minutes ago when I found out I’m prefect,” Calum replies.

“Five galleons says he’ll abuse his power somehow within the first week,” Luke mutters.

“I’m not gonna argue with that,” Michael says back.

“Hey guys, I got my O.W.L results,” Ashton says.

“Shit, that’s right, we have those this year,” Luke says, groaning. “Will someone please just tell Headmistress McGonagall that I’m dropping out and moving to Antarctica to live among the penguins?”

“You’re leaving me?!” Michael says overdramatically. “Lucas how could you? After all we’ve been through.” He climbs onto Luke’s back and buries his face in Luke’s neck. “Now you can’t leave me. I’m never letting go of you.”

“What about when I have to go to the bathroom?” Luke asks, laughing. “What about in the shower? What about when I have History of Magic and the Hufflepuffs have a free period or something?”

“What about you shut up and let me cuddle you, dick,” Michael replies, still clinging to Luke.

“At least let me sit down; I can’t carry you on my back all the time. I’m not a freaking horse.”

“Michael, how come you never jump on me like that?” Calum whines.

“Believe me, you’re lucky,” Luke says, groaning as he tries not to crumple to the floor. “He’s heavy.”

“‘M not that heavy,” Michael says, climbing off of Luke’s back. “What are your scores, Ash?”

“I got a P in Muggle Studies. I probably shouldn’t have made fun of the examiner’s nose hair,” Ashton says seriously. “That’s the only way I can think of that I’d fail. I mean, I was raised by Muggles, both my siblings are Muggles as far as I know, I fucking brought Wi-Fi to Gryffindor Tower!”

“Well, just don’t make fun of the examiner next time,” Luke says smartly.

“Thank you for those words of wisdom, Lucas. Anyway, it looks like I got all E’s except for that.”

“That’s good. Will you help us study?” Michael asks.

“You mean help you study? Because Calum and Luke are both really good students. You are the epitome of a procrastinator. You don’t study until the last possible minute. You’re gonna get a T in everything,” Ashton says.

“Will not! I should manage at least a P.”

“That’s still a failing grade, Mike,” Calum says.

“I’d prefer not to set the bar too high so I won’t be disappointed.”

“Whatever,” Calum sighs. “There’s a reason you aren’t in Ravenclaw.”

“Not everyone can be as smart as you. C’mon, let’s do something fun now.”

“Like what?”

“Quidditch, anyone?”

“Mike, we’re in a Muggle neighborhood,” Luke reminds him. “Do you want to get arrested for breaking the Statute of Secrecy? Because I’m pretty sure my neighbors would notice four teenage boys riding around on flying broomsticks.”

“Fine. How about FIFA? I haven’t played video games in ages.”

“Why not?”

“My parents don’t want me to have any Muggle technology in the house. My laptop is hidden in my school trunk and I don’t want to risk getting caught.”

“I bought that for you for your birthday last year!” Calum says. “I’ve been your best friend since before we went to Hogwarts. And your parents don’t want you using my gift. Maybe my dad can talk to them.”

“I don’t know if they’ll listen. Your dad married a Muggle, so he’s a ‘blood traitor’ in their minds.”

“Alright, so video games it is!” Ashton says, faking enthusiasm.

 

Michael stays at Luke’s for the rest of the summer. He really enjoys being able to use Muggle technology here without risking getting caught. He actually has an iPhone with music on it, and games, and he even has Twitter. When he first found out about social media, he was amazed. But texting...that was the thing that really blew his mind. It’s like sending owl post, only it’s received immediately, and you can have a conversation like you would face-to-face.

Luke had complained about not having a phone their first year, and not having a computer. Now they all bring their cell phones and laptops, and Michael even set up an Xbox in the Hufflepuff common room and has been charging people three knuts for half an hour of game time, a bargain really if you consider the galleon he’s charging per month for Wi-Fi.

“How were you not in Slytherin?” Luke asks him one day while they’re playing Mario Kart, which Michael has been cheating at since pretty much the beginning.

“Not ambitious enough, I guess,” Michael says, shrugging. “I guess the hat just thought I was a loser or something,” he adds bitterly. He’s always wondered how Luke ended up in Slytherin and he in Hufflepuff. Sometimes he thinks it should have been the other way around. Of course, Luke is cunning and ambitious. (Also able to manipulate a situation to get what he wants, probably the product of having two older brothers.)

“Hufflepuffs aren’t losers. I don’t know why you guys get that reputation.” Luke looks at Michael briefly then returns his gaze to the TV screen. “Just like Slytherins are always seen as being mean or something.”

“I know. And you’re a total softie, little Lukey,” Michael says, patting Luke’s head, messing up his hair.

“Fuck off, Mikey. And stop cheating at this fucking game! How the hell aren’t you in Slytherin? You always cheat at games, and you charge people a galleon a month for Wi-Fi, and you pretended to be a teacher to take points from a little girl because Hufflepuff were losing the House Cup.”

“Those aren’t Slytherin traits, it’s just me being obnoxious,” Michael points out. “And we all charge a galleon a month for Wi-Fi; it’s not just me. And I only did that once and never did it again because McGonagall gave me detention for the entire fourth year.”

 

Before they know it, September first is upon them, and Luke’s mum is driving Mikey and Luke to Kings’ Cross to catch the Hogwarts Express. They load their things onto the train and find Calum and Ashton already waiting in a compartment.

“Hey,” Ashton greets them, moving his feet from the seat they’re propped up on to allow Luke and Michael to sit.

“Hey,” Michael and Luke answer at the same time.

“So,” Calum begins. “Now that we’re all here, I propose we meet in the Room of Requirement tonight to figure out when we can meet this term, because all our schedules are different.”

“Well, I’ll probably have some free periods because I’ve dropped a couple classes. Good-bye History of Magic,” Ashton says blissfully. “No more Professor Binns talking in that stupid monotone voice.”

“Lucky,” Luke mutters. “I can’t wait to drop History of Magic next year. Only Professor Binns could make learning about the Second Wizarding War and Voldemort and the Battle of Hogwarts...make me want to take a nap. Why couldn’t Professor Longbottom teach us about all that? I mean, he fought in it.”

“Professor Longbottom teaches Herbology, not History of Magic,” Calum points out. “Besides, Professor Slughorn was there too.”

“God that man’s getting senile. Why can’t they get someone else to teach Potions? Last year he got two ingredients mixed up and caused an entire section of the dungeons to collapse. That happened to contain my dormitory,” Luke says.

“After that maybe McGonagall will hire someone new. And Professor Hagrid was friends with Harry Potter. And McGonagall was Harry’s head of House.”

“I dunno. Do you think they’ll take my suggestion and finally have pizza for the feast tonight?” Michael asks.

“I hope so,” Ashton says. “I bet the house elves could make some really good pizza.”

“We should have ice cream too.”

“You could always have the house elves make a pizza for you and deliver it to the common room.”

“And have to share my pizza with all of Hufflepuff. No thanks.”

“Whatever. Let’s change into our robes.”

 


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first night at Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! okay so this chapter introduces a lot of people that i really love and kind of hints at the pairings you may have noticed i added. i know where this story is going; i just have to get it there. i may have larry stylinson and jalex as well later on. i haven't decided yet.

The train arrives at Hogsmeade shortly after nightfall, and Michael, Luke, Calum, and Ashton all ride together in a carriage up to the castle. “I heard we’re getting a new Potions professor,” Ashton says.

“When did you hear that?” Calum wonders.

“On the train I heard a couple of other sixth-years talking. You know Alex and Jack? Apparently Rian told them that we’re getting a new teacher. And guess who it is,” Ashton says quietly.

“Who?”

“Draco fucking Malfoy,” Ashton says.

“No way,” Luke says.

“Are you serious?” Calum asks.

“Apparently Harry Potter pulled some strings and convinced McGonagall to hire him.”

“That’s crazy. So wait...is he going to be head of Slytherin? Because he’ll be the only Slytherin teacher if Slughorn leaves,” Luke says, sounding kind of worried.

“Guys, I’m friends with Teddy Lupin. Draco’s his cousin, and apparently he’s a really cool guy. The war was years ago, and aren’t we supposed to not judge people based on their past and family? I’m a pureblood with Slytherin family and you still hang out with me,” Michael points out. “Besides, if Harry Potter is the one who convinced McGonagall to hire him, he must be okay.”

“I wonder what Professor Longbottom will think about this,” Calum muses. “I mean, Gryffindor and Slytherin were basically enemies during Harry Potter’s time at Hogwarts because of the whole Malfoy-Potter rivalry.”

“So what else has Teddy told you about him?” Luke asks Michael.

“Not much. Just that his gran is Draco’s aunt, and that Andromeda and Narcissa didn’t get along till after the war. But apparently Harry and Draco come visit on Sundays at the same time. Teddy thinks there’s something going on between them. I told him he’s crazy. Apparently Scorpius and Albus Severus are always asking Teddy to change his hair or face or to morph into someone else because they find it entertaining. Teddy just finds it annoying. Albus and Scorpius are only like six years old though.”

“I still can’t believe you’re friends with Teddy Lupin,” Calum says, shaking his head.

“I give him a discount on the Hufflepuff Wi-Fi, too. Apparently Hermione Granger bought him a laptop when he told her they had Wi-Fi at Hogwarts. I only charge him ten sickles instead of a galleon per month.”

By this time the carriages have reached the castle, and the boys part ways, promising to meet in the room of requirement later that night. If they get caught, Calum said he’ll use being a prefect as a justification of why he’s out so late. He’ll pretend to have caught them sneaking around and say he’s already taken the points from them. Michael doubts any teacher would believe him, but then again, he has no idea why Calum was made prefect in the first place.

 

Michael sits between Teddy Lupin and a sixth-year Hufflepuff boy with colored hair. Unlike Michael and Teddy, however, Alex spells his hair different colors. Michael’s talked to him a couple times. He hangs out with three Gryffindors most of the time: Jack, Zack, and Rian. He’s really nice. He has turquoise hair this time. Secretly, Michael might have a bit of a crush on him.

Michael and Teddy catch up, talking about their summers, changing their eye or hair color every little bit just to see if the other notices. After a short while, the Sorting begins, however, and they have to be quiet. God, these kids look so tiny. Had Michael been that tiny in first year? He doesn’t think so.

 

Once the Sorting’s done, McGonagall stands in front of the Staff Table. “Welcome to Hogwarts,” she says. “There are some announcements that must be made, then the feast may begin. First of all, I must inform you that Professor Slughorn has retired. We will have a new Potions teacher: Draco Malfoy.” There are mutters all around the hall as Professor Malfoy stands up and looks around. Teddy makes eye contact and waves, and Malfoy smiles a bit when he sees his cousin.

“He’s really cool, I promise you’ll like him,” Teddy whispers to Michael.

“Also,” McGonagall continues as Malfoy sits back down. “I must remind you, once again, that all Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes products are banned.”

“We worked really hard on those!” Fred’s ghost objects, floating toward the staff table. “Why are you banning them?”

“Mr. Weasley, it seems even in death you are causing trouble,” McGonagall says with a sigh. “Your products have been banned because some students,” she looks directly at Michael, “use them to get out of their detentions.”

“That was one time,” Michael mutters. The Weasleys had these things called Decoy Detonators, that made a loud noise somewhere a good bit away from the person using them, and he may have used one to distract Professor Longbottom so that he could go meet Calum in the Room of Requirement. But Calum had needed him there—he’d found an injured stray dog on the grounds and wanted Michael to help him get it to his family so he could keep it. Sadie the three-legged Golden Retriever now lives with Calum’s family.

“Also, the forest is, as always, out of bounds to all students unless accompanied by a teacher. That means you as well, Mr. Hood, just in case you were wondering if you could use your power as prefect to get out of trouble for going in there. I still haven’t forgotten the baby unicorn incident.”

The baby unicorn. Oh, god. That had been in their second year. Pete, a fourth-year Slytherin, had dared them all to go into the forest. They did. And Calum had found a baby unicorn that had been orphaned...or so he thought. Turns out its mother was just out grazing and came back to find Calum carrying her baby off toward Professor Hagrid’s hut. She didn’t like that very much. Michael still remembers holding Calum’s hand while Madam Pomfrey fixed the hole where the mother unicorn’s horn had impaled him between the two bones in his forearm.

 

After the announcements, the feast begins and—“Holy shit. I have been dreaming of this for years,” Michael says as he puts a huge slice of the pepperoni pizza that had just appeared onto his plate and grabs some Cheetos.

“We’re having Muggle food for the feast?” Teddy asks, inspecting a Cheeto, looking like he expects it to bite him or something.

“They’re cheese puffs,” Michael explains. “That’s pretty much all I eat when I stay over at Luke’s, unless his mum makes us eat ‘actual’ food. And pizza’s not Muggle; there’s a pizzeria in Diagon Alley now.”

“I know what pizza is,” Teddy says. “I just don’t trust these little orange things. They look like caterpillars or something.”

“Trust me, Teddy, they’re delicious. I’ll see if I can smuggle some into the dormitories sometime.”

Teddy hesitantly lifts the bright orange puff into his mouth and takes a bite. “Oh my god this is amazing,” he says, staring at the rest of the cheese puff like it’s his firstborn.

“Told ya,” Michael says, grinning.

 

After the feast, back at the Hufflepuff common room, Michael sets up the Wi-Fi and kids line up for this month’s password. He makes 34 galleons, plus the ten sickles from Teddy. Then he sets up the X-Box, and a few people queue up for it. He puts Teddy in charge of collecting the fees for the X-Box. “Wait, where are you going?” Teddy asks him.

“Room of Requirement,” Michael says quietly. “Going over schedules with Ash, Cal, and Luke. I’ll be back later.”

“Mike, it’s past curfew,” Teddy tells him.

“Don’t worry, Calum’s a prefect. He can get me out of trouble,” Michael says, ruffling Teddy’s green hair. “Hold down the fort, Ted.”

“Okay, on your own head be it. And I told you not to call me Ted!”

 

“What took you so long?” Ashton asks as Michael enters the Room of Requirement to find his friends already there.

“Unlike you guys, I don’t just have Wi-Fi to set up. I had to set up the TV and X-Box too. I made 34 galleons, and I’m expecting more later for video games. Also, Teddy was asking questions.”

“Okay, so you and me have Potions and History of Magic together, Mike,” Luke says. “And Calum, you and I have Defense and Herbology together.”

“And me and Michael have Transfiguration and Charms together,” Calum says. “And then we all have Care of Magical Creatures together, along with the Gryffindors.”

“It looks like Thursday afternoons are a free period for all of us,” Ashton notes.

“You’re Gryffindor Quidditch captain; when are you gonna have practices?” Calum asks him.

“I dunno. I’ll schedule them for a time that doesn’t mess with us all getting together, okay?”

“Hey guys, our stock of Weasley products from last year are all still here,” Luke says from over in a corner.

The Room of Requirement is their go-to spot to hang out together, ever since Fred’s ghost showed it to them back in their first year. Now their room is full of beanbag chairs and has a TV and video games and even has a snack bar. Unfortunately, the snack bar doesn’t stock itself. It does clean itself after the end of the year, though.

“Great!” Calum says. “Are there any of the Skiving Snackboxes left?”

“Calum, you’re a prefect; you can’t skip class!” Ashton says, smacking Calum on the back of the head.

“Fine. How about extendable ears? Any of those?”

“Yeah, we still have those. And here’s a love potion that Fred convinced us to buy,” Luke says, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, Mike, maybe you could use that love potion on Alex,” Calum suggests.

Michael flips him off. “Fuck off, I do not have a crush on Alex Gaskarth.” Shit, he’s definitely blushing.

Ashton makes a cough that sounds suspiciously like “Liar!”

“Anyway,” Michael says, trying to steer the conversation away from his not-crush on the Hufflepuff sixth-year, “What do you think Potions with Malfoy will be like?”

“Hopefully he won’t blow up my dormitory like Slug did,” Luke mutters.

“Considering that’s the whole reason they forced Slughorn to retire, I really doubt that’ll happen again,” Calum says.

“Guys, it’s past midnight; we’d better head back to our dormitories,” Ashton says, looking at the clock.

“Alright. So we’ll all meet again Thursday afternoon, then?”

“Sounds cool.”

 

“Where were you?” a voice asks as Michael enters the fifth-year Hufflepuff dormitory. Shit. He’d hoped everyone would be asleep. Michael looks over to see Patrick, a chubby boy with light auburn hair who always seems to be wearing a fedora, for some reason (though he’s hat-less right now, as it’s the middle of the night and he was presumably asleep), looking at him, squinting without his glasses.

“Nowhere. Go back to sleep, Patrick,” Michael says, changing into his pajamas.

“He was meeting his boyfriends, probably,” Niall, a dyed-blonde Irish boy, says sleepily.

“Luke, Calum, and Ashton are not my boyfriends,” Michael says. “Shut the fuck up and go to sleep already.”

“Really? They’re not? Because you literally don’t ever hang out with anyone but them. The only time you talk to us is when you’re here,” Frank, another Hufflepuff in Michael’s year, says.

“Someone’s a little too defensive,” Ryan, the other fifth-year Hufflepuff, an adrogynous-looking boy that really can only be described as cute, adds.

“And we were asleep until you came in at one in the fucking morning. We have class tomorrow morning, Mike!” Patrick says. Michael looks at him. Patrick hardly ever swears.

“Then go back to sleep,” Michael says petulantly.

“I’m prefect; I can take points from you,” Patrick threatens.

“Why the fuck would you take points from Hufflepuff?” Michael ask. “You’d be hurting yourself too.”

“Just go to sleep, Michael.”

 

 


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day of classes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so in this chapter you'll notice even more band members. also, we've got frerard and ryden. you're welcome. also, this chapter really doesn't allow for much characterization of draco malfoy, but there will be drarry in this.
> 
> also, i need your opinion. i've already got niall horan in this, and i'm planning to have the other 1d boys and have larry stylinson as a pairing, but...zayn? should he be in this? if so, ziam? or no?
> 
> and...jalex. should i have jalex in this? bc i really want to bc i ship it so much. and peterick. idk if i'll have peterick get together, but patrick is definitely head-over-heels for pete. but i want to bc i ship them so much. and i really want to include twenty one pilots too, so i may have joshler as well. and i'm thinking about having a few female artists in this as well because i just really need female characters bc hogwarts is not an all-boys school.
> 
> i swear we're slowly but steadily headed to 5sos ot4.

“Michael, wake up,” Michael hears a voice coming from next to his bed. He pulls his pillow over his head only to have it yanked away from him along with the blanket.

He looks up to see Patrick in front of him, fully dressed for the day complete with glasses and fedora, and glares at the smaller boy. “I was sleeping.”

“You were sleeping through breakfast,” Patrick corrects. “And no one else wanted to wake you up, so I got stuck with the job. Now get up, so I can go down to breakfast.”

“You mean so you can stare at Pete and try to get his attention.” Patrick looks shocked. “I’m not blind, Stump. And I mean, he’s a seventh-year and he’s the Keeper for Slytherin’s Quidditch team. I really don’t think you have a chance there. Sorry, buddy,” Michael says, though he’s really not sorry at all. After all, Patrick did just wake him up.

“Just get dressed and get down to breakfast before I drag you there in your pajamas,” Patrick threatens.

 

“Hey, Mike,” Teddy says as Michael sits down next to him.

“I keep telling you not to call me that,” Michael mumbles.

“And I keep telling you not to call me Ted, but you do anyway, so we’re even,” Teddy replies. “We have Muggle cereal now,” Teddy tells him, holding up a box of Lucky Charms.

“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day,” Michael says, pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

“What’s your first class?” Teddy asks him.

Michael looks at his schedule. “Potions with Slytherin,” he says. “I guess I’ll see if your cousin really is as cool as you say he is, huh?”

“You’ll like him, I promise. He can be a bit intimidating but he’s a great guy,” Teddy says sincerely.

“Well, I guess I’ll see for myself. Oh, shit,” Michael says, a thought just occurring to him.

“What?”

“Two of my housemates are dating Slytherins in our year,” Michael groans. “Brendon and Gerard are going to be in this class with us, so I’ll either have to see Frerard and Ryden being all coupley, or watch Ryan and Frank stare at their boyfriends from across the room.”

“Frerard and Ryden?” Teddy asks, sounding confused.

“It’s a Muggle thing. When two people are together, you combine their names. Like, uh...well, you think something’s going on between your cousin and Harry Potter. They’d be Drarry. If by some miracle Pete ever notices Patrick, they’d be, uh...Peterick.”

“Or you and Calum would be Malum,” Teddy says, clearly getting the idea and...wait. Did he just imply what Michael thinks he implied?

“Teddy, what the hell? There’s nothing going on between me and Calum.” Teddy opens his mouth like he’s about to say something. “Or Luke. Or Ashton.”

“Sure there’s not, Michael. Sure there’s not. But I guarantee when you brew amortentia this year, it’s going to smell like at least one of them,” Teddy tells him.

“Amortentia’s a NEWT-level potion, Teddy,” Michael says. They shouldn’t be brewing it till sixth or seventh year. Unless… “Wait. Is Malfoy going to make us brew NEWT-level potions?”

“I dunno. I just heard him talking to Harry about what potions he’s going to have the OWL students brew and he said something about amortentia.”

“Harry...as in Harry Potter,” Michael guesses.

“No, Harry as in the prince. Of course Harry Potter. They’re always over at my gran’s house at the same time, it seems like. So I have to deal with Albus Severus and Scorpius at the same time. Plus Lily. I don’t know why Ginny won’t take the kids when Harry comes over. They drive me nuts. James isn’t so bad, though. He’s nine though, so he’s able to entertain himself and isn’t always begging me to make myself look like some ridiculous troll or a celebrity or something. James thinks there’s something between Harry and Draco too,” Teddy says.

The wizarding world had been shocked a couple years before when Harry Potter and Ginevra Weasley had gotten divorced. Michael remembers hearing about it from Teddy first, before any public announcements had been made. He also remembers Teddy telling him a little detail that the press hadn’t reported: Harry Potter, it seemed, wasn’t interested in girls at all. But just because Harry was gay did not mean he was gay for Draco, as Michael constantly pointed out to Teddy.

 

Michael finds Luke sitting in a seat in the back of the Potions classroom when he gets there. He sets his bag down and sits next to Luke. “Teddy says we might be making NEWT-level potions with Malfoy,” he tells Luke quietly.

Luke gulps. Michael knows Luke hates Potions, and never really learned much from Slug anyway. “Shit. NEWT-level? Seriously? Like, which ones?”

“Amortentia, according to Teddy. He said he overheard Malfoy talking to Harry Potter about it. Apparently we’re going to be challenged this year. How is Malfoy as a Head of House?” Michael asks.

“He’s actually pretty cool. He’s a lot younger than the other Heads; I mean, he’s only like thirty years old. He and Longbottom are the youngest professors in the school. Anyway, he’s actually great. He’s really nice, though he’s not exactly friendly. I have the feeling he doesn’t have many friends.”

“Well, here he comes, we’d better be quiet.”

“Hello, class, I’m Professor Malfoy and I’ll be teaching you Potions,” Malfoy says. “As you are all aware, you have your Ordinary Wizarding Levels this year, which will largely determine your future in the Wizarding world. So don’t screw them up,” Malfoy looks at the class sternly. “Now, for our first class, I’ve prepared the potion we’ll be working on for the next few weeks. Can anyone tell me what it is?”

“It’s amortentia,” says Brendon, Ryan’s Slytherin boyfriend.

“Very good, mister Urie. And how could you tell?”

“The steam rising in the spiral shape...and the smell,” Brendon adds, blushing and looking at Ryan.

“Ten points to Slytherin,” Malfoy announces.

“What do you think it’s going to smell like for you?” Luke whispers to Michael.

“Teddy reckons it’s going to smell like Calum,” Michael says, rolling his eyes. “Or you or Ash. I think all of Hufflepuff thinks I’m dating all of you or something.”

Luke looks at him with a ridiculous look on his face. “What?!”

“Yeah, it’s ridiculous. I dunno, maybe it’ll smell like pizza. Pizza’s good.”

“Yours will smell like pizza and whatever guitars and video games smell like,” Luke tells him. “It’s supposed to smell like things you love, and those are the things you love most.”

“What, you don’t think I love anybody?”

“I think you don’t ever admit it when you do love somebody so why should it matter what I think?” Luke says petulantly.

“Why are you being so pissy?” Michael asks him.

“None of your business,” Luke tells him.

Michael’s about to reply when…

“Hemmings, Clifford, are you paying attention?”

“Uh, yeah, Professor Malfoy,” Luke says.

“Then of course you can paraphrase what I just said.”

Luke and Michael look at each other. Michael curses silently. Of course he can’t tell Professor Malfoy what was just said in the lecture. He was too busy discussing what he thought the potion would smell like to pay attention. “Okay, we might have been paying a little less attention than we should have,” Luke says sheepishly.

“One point each from Hufflepuff and Slytherin,” Malfoy says, causing the other students to glare at Michael and Luke. “Mr. Way, would you like to summarize what I just got done saying?”

“Uh, sure,” Gerard, a Slytherin boy with unnatural red hair (who also happens to be Frank’s boyfriend), says. “So basically, what you missed was Malfoy telling us that amortentia doesn’t actually create love, it just mimics its effects. Amortentia smells like things you love, and can sometimes help people realize when they’re in love with someone. Um...it’s the most powerful love potion there is, and therefore is very dangerous, so if Malfoy catches any of us stealing it, he’ll give us detention for life. And I think that’s it.”

“Very good, Mr. Way. Now, the instructions are on the board, so you can go to the supply cupboard and get what you need, then begin working on the potion.”

As Michael goes to get the ingredients, he catches a whiff of the potion. Predictably, there’s the scent of pizza, but...he smells the unique scents of his three best friends too. Shit. Okay, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. He loves them platonically, and maybe that counts, right? I mean, it’s not like he wants to fuck a pizza, and the potion smelled like pizza too. And he definitely doesn’t see any of his best friends like that. Okay, maybe he’s had a few dirty dreams about Calum, and maybe he cares a little too much about all of them to be seen as strictly friendship, and maybe he wouldn’t say no to a foursome if they ever asked, and maybe he’s wanked off to thoughts of being fucked by Ashton or Luke sucking him off or him fucking Calum, and...shit, okay, he can’t think about this right now. He’s in class; he’ll sort out his complicated maybe-romantic feelings for his best friends later.

He shakes his head to clear it and heads back to Luke carrying the ingredients for the potion. “What’s wrong?” Luke asks him. Of course Luke would have noticed he was upset.

“Nothing. Just...let’s start on the potion, okay?”

 

As Michael and Luke exit the dungeons, they’re sort of quiet. “I can’t believe I lost points for Hufflepuff on the first day. I need to remember to tell Calum to give me points.”

“If Calum gets caught giving points to you just because you told him to he could get in trouble,” Luke points out.

“Okay. Have fun in Transfiguration; I’ve got Charms right now. I’ll tell Calum you said hi,” Michael says, heading toward Flitwick’s classroom. He doesn’t really like having Charms with the Ravenclaws because Flitwick’s Head of Ravenclaw. Not that he gives his students special treatment; Michael just feels kind of awkward. Especially because he’s not that good at Charms and being in that class with a bunch of geniuses doesn’t exactly improve his self-esteem.

 

When Michael gets to Charms, he sees that he’s late. Fuck. And Calum is nowhere to be seen. Michael goes to the back and sits next to a curly-headed Ravenclaw boy named Joe who often hangs out with Patrick. “Where’s Calum?” Michael asks Joe as he sits down.

“Something about Quidditch. I think they’re making him Captain this year because Hurley quit,” Joe says.

“What? Why’d Andy quit? He could have gone professional,” Michael says.

“I dunno; something about not having enough time for all his extracurriculars,” Joe shrugs.

“Trohman, Clifford, class is starting,” Professor Flitwick says, effectively ending the conversation.

 

 


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is kind of an important chapter. it adds a couple more ships, and it's important plot-wise. this thing is going to have all my bandom and hp ships in it, ok? ok.

“So anyway, we can use these to talk outside of when we see each other. It can work like a group chat, except without phones. And the best part is it’s enchanted to show class notes when you tap the top right corner with your wand so you can’t get in trouble for using it during class,” Calum says, showing Michael a notebook he made himself.

“That’s insane; how did you do that?!” Michael’s very impressed; he could never do that. “By the way, thanks for missing Charms so you could become Ravenclaw Quidditch captain,” Michael says sarcastically. “You know that’s my worst subject.”

“How’d you know that was why I missed Charms?”

“Trohman told me. Why’d Andy quit anyway? He was the best keeper you guys have ever had.”

“He was too busy with all the other stuff he’s doing. I don’t think there are any clubs he’s not in,” Calum says. “Now I have to have tryouts for a new keeper too. We already need a new seeker and a new beater, now we need a keeper.”

“Hmm...any ideas who you’re going to try out?”

“Not really; no. There’s a girl named Hayley who could probably be a pretty good Seeker; I’ve heard she might be trying out. She’s a fourth year. And you know Liam? I think he could be a pretty good Beater. There’s a sixth-year named Ed who I think could be a good Beater as well. As for the keeper, I have no idea. Andy was the best we’ve ever had. Maybe Casey? Or Ashley? They’re both reserve players, but I’ve never seen either of them play Keeper.”

“You know I don’t know who half those people are,” Michael states, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, I’d better get back to the Hufflepuff dormitory. Teddy’s convinced that I’m secretly dating you, Luke, and/or Ashton, and me sneaking out to meet you probably did nothing to quell his suspicion.”

Calum laughs. “Okay, well, have fun convincing Teddy that there’s nothing going on.”

“What? Why did you say it like that?” Michael’s confused. Calum sounded like it would be harder than usual for him to— “What the fuck are you doing?” Michael squawks as Calum latches onto his neck just above the collar of his shirt.

After Calum has definitely left a mark, he pulls away and says, “Keeping the rumors going.”

“I hate you. I hate you so, so much, Calum, I swear to god. Now Teddy is never going to shut up about me secretly dating you. And when Patrick sees me getting back to the dormitories past curfew with a hickey, he’s probably going to take points from me. This’ll be the second night this week I’ve been out past curfew. You could have showed me this notebook in Care of Magical Creatures tomorrow morning, you know. Then you could give Luke his at the same time.”

“It’s more fun sneaking out, though,” Calum says seriously. “I already gave Luke his this afternoon anyway, during Defense.”

“Okay, fine,” Michael says, gingerly pressing his finger to the spot on his neck where Calum had marked him. “Fuck, this hurts. Why the hell did you have to give me a fucking hickey?”

“Like I said, to keep the rumors going. Give people something to talk about.”

 

“Where the hell have you—what’s that on your neck?” Patrick says as soon as Michael walks into the dormitory. All the others are still awake, though, so that’s a plus.

“It looks like a hickey,” Niall says bluntly.

“I told you he was secretly dating Calum!” Frank says, elbowing Ryan in the ribs.

“Guys, seriously, it’s not what you think. Calum thought it would be funny because he knows about all the rumors. And he apparently wants the rumors to keep going.”

“‘Rumors’. Sure, Mike. That’s what they are,” Ryan says patronizingly.

“They are! I’m not dating anyone! Why don’t people believe me?”

“Have you seen the way you act around your ‘friends’?” Niall asks. “Heart eyes, motherfucker.”

“Shut up you guys. I am not secretly dating my best friends! If I was dating them, I’d tell you. I promise. I’m going to bed.”

 

The next morning in Care of Magical Creatures, they’re feeding thestrals. Which is boring as fuck because Michael can’t see them. “Professor Hagrid, I have a question,” Luke says.

“What’s your question, Luke?” Hagrid asks. Michael’s always liked Professor Hagrid. He’s cool. He’s pretty much the only teacher that uses their first names.

“Why are we taking care of thestrals if most of us can’t see them?” Luke asks. “I mean, I have no idea where they even are.” Just as soon as he says that, he jumps. “Eek! I think one just licked my arm!”

Hagrid laughs at that. “That means he likes you, it does. You can try and pat him on the head. That one likes being scratched behind the ears.”

“And, uh...where are its ears?”

Michael snorts at that, then he feels something breathing against his arm, then a nudge against his hand. “Fuck, that’s creepy,” he says, but reaches out where he supposes the thestral is anyway. He feels it nuzzle what he assumes is its nose into his hand, then lick him a bit. He giggles. “You know, these things are actually kind of cute. For something that’s invisible, I mean.”

“If you could see them, you probably wouldn’t think that,” Gerard, Frank’s Slytherin boyfriend, tells him, looking at a spot to his left.

“They’re actually really creepy-looking,” Louis, a petite boy who plays chaser for Gryffindor, says.

“You guys can see them?” Michael asks the two boys, surprised. He didn’t know any of the people in his year could see the thestrals.

“Louis’s been able to see them his whole life,” Harry, Louis’s Ravenclaw boyfriend, says. “His twin died in the womb, so he could probably see them when he was an infant if there’d been any around.”

“I’ve never been able to see them before this year,” Gerard says. “My aunt died over the summer, though, and I was there. So that’s why I can see them.”

“Oh,” Michael says. He really doesn’t know how to respond to that.

“Professor Hagrid, I think a thestral is trying to eat my hair,” Leigh Anne, a pretty Hufflepuff girl with flawless dark skin, says, and sure enough, Michael can see her hair moving as if something invisible is chewing on it. Her girlfriend Perrie, a slender blonde Gryffindor girl with a nostril piercing, comes to the rescue, gently tugging on the wild curls, trying to free them from the thestral’s mouth.

“I told you not to use the strawberry shampoo on Care of Magical Creatures days,” Perrie mutters. “Your hair is so fluffy and when you add the smell of strawberries, the animals just seem to always want to eat it. Remember the Kneazle?”

“Well, one just grabbed my glasses and now I can’t see,” Patrick says, and Michael laughs, seeing Patrick’s glasses seemingly floating away on their own.

“Shit, here, let me get them, Trick,” Joe says, going after the floating pair of glasses.

“Can this lesson be over now?” Patrick says as the Ravenclaw boy hands him his glasses, covered in thestral drool.

 

As they walk back to the castle, Michael’s mind turns to their last Potions class, and the amortentia that smelled like his best friends. He should probably talk to someone about it, but he doesn’t know who to go to. Then he gets the idea. Fred. The ghost will keep his secret, and the Weasleys sell love potions, so Fred has to know something about it, right? “You guys, I’ll catch up later, I have to, uh...do something,” Michael says to Luke and Calum.

“Is something wrong, Mikey?” Luke asks.

“No. Just...I want to be alone for a bit. To think. About, uh...things.”

“Okay…”

 

“Fred!” Michael says as he finds the ghost hanging out by the entrance to Gryffindor tower. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Why me? Why not Luke or Calum or Ashton?” the ghost asks.

“It’s about Luke, Calum, and Ashton,” Michael says quietly. “Okay, so we’re brewing amortentia in Potions, and it may have smelled like all of them? I’m so confused. I mean, I like them all, but I don’t know why my potion smelled like them. Can it smell like someone you love platonically?”

“When my class brewed amortentia in my sixth year, I had the exact same reaction. You want to know who mine smelled like?” Fred says, looking at Michael kindly.

“Who?”

“George. I thought it must be because we were so close, because we were twins. Because I shouldn’t feel anything like that for him. But amortentia doesn’t reflect platonic love, Michael. If it smelled like your three best friends, then there’re feelings there, whether you want to see them or not. And believe me, I did not want to see my feelings for George,” Fred says quietly.

Michael looks at the ghost in shock. Okay, so apparently there was some sort of twincest going on between Fred and George. That’s interesting. “So I am in love with them?”

“Do you think you’re in love with them?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I love them, and I’m kind of attracted to them, and I wouldn’t exactly be opposed to dating them, but they probably don’t feel the same.”

“You should tell them. They might surprise you. George certainly surprised me.”

“So were you and George, like, together?”

“It was a secret. But he’s the reason I stayed behind as a ghost. So I could still see him sometimes.”

 

As Michael heads to lunch, he’s got a lot on his mind, thinking about what Fred had told him. He sits at the Hufflepuff table between Patrick and Teddy. “You guys were right,” he tells them. “I do like Luke, Calum, and Ashton. The amortentia smelled like them when I walked by it the other day. I don’t know what to do.”

Teddy looks at him in shock, and Patrick just looks confused. “Are you gonna tell them?” Teddy asks after a bit.

“I should. But I don’t know how.”

“Who knows, maybe they’ll feel the same way,” Patrick tells him gently.

“You guys are going to tease the fuck out of me if I get together with them, aren’t you?” Michael says.

“Yup,” Teddy says seriously.

“I hate you,” Michael tells him. “I hate you so so much Teddy Lupin. I’m going to stop giving you a discount on the Wi-Fi.”

“You give him a discount?!” Patrick exclaims, sounding indignant. “I’ve been paying a galleon a month!”

“Oops,” Michael says. He’d forgotten that Patrick was sitting next to him. “But anyway, you really think I should tell them?”

“Let me just say this, they look at you the exact way you look at them,” Teddy tells him.


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys here's another chapter. this is sort of a filler chapter but the next chapter is going to be rlly rlly important.
> 
> also, my tumblr url is different now. i'm now at [bisexymikeyclifford](http://bisexymikeyclifford.tumblr.com).

“Michael, for the last time, I am not sneaking you into the prefect’s bathroom. You can use the normal showers,” Calum says, sighing.

“Why not?! And I hate the normal showers. The water pressure sucks,” Michael says, pouting a bit.

“Michael, it’s against the rules. I could get in serious trouble if I let you go in there. I don't see why it's such a big deal. There’s a creepy mermaid painting that watches you while you’re in there, anyway. And sometimes Moaning Myrtle shows up unexpectedly.”

“Moaning Myrtle shows up unexpectedly anywhere there’s plumbing, Calum. It’s pretty much just a part of going to Hogwarts. C’mon, it’ll give you a chance to practice disillusionment charms.” Michael really doesn’t see why this is such a big deal. Ashton gets to use the prefect’s bathroom because he’s Gryffindor’s quidditch captain. Calum gets to use the prefect’s bathroom because he’s a Ravenclaw prefect.

“Michael, can we argue about this tomorrow? Tomorrow’s Saturday, so we can all hang out anyway. I’m exhausted; I just held quidditch tryouts.”

“Fine. But I’m not dropping it. You’ll crack eventually.”

 

The next morning, Michael wakes up to find the dormitory empty. Everyone’s probably at breakfast already. He pulls on his clothes and goes down to breakfast.

“You slept in,” Teddy says as he sits down at the near-empty table.

“Apparently so did you,” Michael points out, looking at Teddy’s cereal. “And apparently you’ve taken a liking to Cocoa Puffs.”

“This muggle cereal is amazing. I’m going to have to see if I can get my gran to buy it when I’m home.”

Michael chuckles. His parents won’t buy him muggle snacks, of course. He spends most of his time off at Luke’s or Calum’s or Ashton’s though, and they always have good food. Michael pours himself a bowl of Lucky Charms. “I’m sure she will. Your gran’s pretty cool. I mean, I’ve only met her once, but she seemed really nice.”

“Speaking of my gran, she owled me yesterday. Apparently Harry Potter is coming over to our place for Christmas instead of going to the Weasleys’ this year. Which means that I have to deal with Albus  _ and  _ Scorpius on Christmas. God knows what they’ll make me do to entertain them. Maybe Harry can convince Ginny to take the kids for Christmas.”

“I don’t see why you don’t like being around your cousins. Ashton has a little brother and sister, and I love being around them.”

“But you’ve never been around wizard children, Michael. James is almost Hogwarts age so he can control his magic pretty well, but Albus and Scorpius are horrible. When they get upset, they break things accidentally. Not little things either. Albus once broke all of gran’s decorative vases because I didn’t want to make myself look like his dad and do impressions of him. But Harry was in the next room and I didn’t want to upset him.”

“Okay, you win.”

 

Michael enters the room of requirement to find his friends already there, playing Mario Kart. “What’s up, losers?” he says, plopping himself down on a beanbag chair.

“Luke’s losing at Mario Kart,” Ashton replies, hardly glancing at Michael.

“Luke sucks at Mario Kart,” Michael replies. “Hey, you guys, we should have a sleepover in here sometime,” he says, looking around the room.

“Michael, we would get in so much trouble for that,” Ashton says.

“Only if we got caught. C’mon, it’ll be fun! I can get Winky to make us a pizza; she’s one of the better elves for keeping secrets. Though Kreacher is technically Harry Potter’s house elf, so I suppose I could get him to do it. The ones that aren’t actually owned by Hogwarts are the best ones at keeping secrets. C’mon, guys, pleeeeaaaaseee?” Michael gives his best puppy eyes.

Calum looks at him and sighs. “If we get in trouble I will never forgive you. But okay.”

“I bet I could get Aberforth to help me smuggle some firewhiskey in here,” Luke says. The secret passage to the Hog’s Head is something that Fred Weasley’s ghost had showed them a while back, and that they tend to use for occasional trips to Hogsmeade between designated weekends.

“Oh my god, Luke, yes!” Michael says, going over to Luke and wrapping his arms around him from behind and kissing his cheek theatrically. “I knew there was a reason we kept you around.”

“Dammit, Michael, you made me lose!” Luke exclaims.

“You don’t need my help to make you lose, babe,” Michael says condescendingly.

 

An hour later, the four boys are all sat in the floor of the room of requirement, planning out their awesome slumber party for tonight. “Okay, so we’re all agreed on pepperoni? And we all want Cheetos. And I’ll get some grape soda as well. I’ll go down to the kitchens in a bit and tell Winky what we’re up to. And Luke, you’re going to the Hog’s Head to get firewhiskey, right?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Great. Meet back here in an hour?”

 

Michael heads down to the kitchens, finding the house elves fixing supper. “Hey Winky,” he says to the small elf, and she heads over.

“Yes Master Michael, what can Winky be helping you with today?” she says, bowing.

Michael smiles. He’s always thought house elves were adorable, not that he’d ever tell anyone that out loud. “I need two pepperoni pizzas, some Cheetos, and some grape soda. Just bring them up to the Room of Requirement when they’re done.”

“Winky will be making the pizza right away, sir.”

“Thanks, Winky. You’re my favorite elf,” Michael tells her, patting her head.

The elf blushes. “You are being most welcome, Master Michael. Us elves is always being happy to serve.”

 

“Winky’s making us the pizza,” Michael says as he enters the room of requirement again.

“Great! I could eat a hippogriff,” Calum says. “Luke just left to go to the Hog’s Head. I gave him a list.”

“Calum! You’re a prefect! Yet here you are condoning underage drinking. Shame on you,” Michael says, feigning shock.

“Oh fuck off, Michael,” Calum says.

“What are we even going to do in here all night?” Ashton asks.

“Who cares? We’re gonna have fun, though!” Michael says enthusiastically.

“Fair enough. We need to make sure we don’t drink too much and end up doing something that will land us in colossal trouble though,” Ashton says.

“Yeah, I remember the first time Michael was drunk he couldn’t control his Metamorphmagus shit and his hair was like rapidly changing colors,” Calum says. Michael remembers that vaguely.

“Shut up, Calum,” Michael says, shoving the dark boy off of his beanbag chair.

 

Luke returns about an hour later, carrying two clear glass bottles full of amber liquid. “Aberforth wouldn’t give me firewhiskey,” he informs them. “But I talked him into giving me rum. We owe him a goat,” Luke adds.

“We owe him WHAT?” Michael exclaims.

“A goat. I dunno; he’s a weird guy. But he said he’d give it to me if I could get him a billy goat.”

“Why does he...never mind, I don’t want to know,” Calum says, shaking his head.

“He once got arrested for practicing improper charms on a goat, whatever that means. I’m not sure we should give him a goat, Luke,” Ashton says.

“Well I promised him a goat in exchange for booze. It took like half an hour of negotiating too,” Luke says petulantly. “You guys are lucky I love you. Honestly, the shit I go through…”

“We love you too, Lukey. Now why don’t we open one of those bottles?”


End file.
